I have dated quite a few guys in the past year but no one has come close to being someone I can see myself with and it makes me miss my ex. My recent post Why Do Women Lust After Unavailable Men. That was 6 months ago now and I haven't heard from him since. Is this universal? But the rest of us can find it hard. Looked him in the eye and said, "I'm meeting someone." If my ex gets married before I do, I’ll be happy for him. The love life makes its way into the discussion, and the caller asks something like, “so how are you and _______ doing?”  The callee will generally say “we’re good” or “we’re happy”. My recent post Get Your Ex Back Without Looking Desperate. Move on with your life and I'll move on with mine. Not worth reading indeed. And its hard to see anyone you love/loved with someone else… even if you have no intentions of ever getting back with them. We eventually broke up, and she met her new man, married him, and had a kid by him, all before my very eyes. The thought that an ex may be better off without you would crush the egos of so many people, which I think they need. Get Your Ex Back Without Looking Desperate, The Butterfly Fallacy: How stomach butterflies will get you caught up, Loving black people and the police – The Daily Show. All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft, Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column. We just feign happiness for them, and for ourselves to keep the conversation moving. This kind of falls into the line of thought you are supposed to hate your exes, Which i am absolutely baffled by. But the rest of us can find it hard. So, if he or she senses you are happy, they want war. Does Submission Give Women Power or Make Them Slaves To Their Husbands? Some people really are happy that their ex found happiness. Naw, no egg on the face at that point. So if your ex exaggerates how happy he or she is, just remember that your ex is trying to evoke some sort of a negative reaction out of you. Where in the world did you come from?" For those who don’t, be prepared to deal with the “what ifs”, especially if your ex is truly as happy as they say. And BOOM! Because he/she was immature and probably fell for the “grass is always greener on the other side” trope, broke up and did not realize the loss until AFTER the break up. I’m talking about the feeling where the two of us felt like Darius and Nina in the rain, where all that mattered was us being together right at that moment. Imagine this: you’ve left your toxic narcissist after years of mental and emotional … Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Leave the phone calls alone. female The … When we get asked, “how are you and _____ doing?”, we can go overboard with answering. Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? If we’d leave them to their life, we’d be able to live ours free of the “what if” factor, at least with respect to having to front. Take the time and space to do what you need for yourself in order to heal and get to a good, strong, happy place. inferior doesnt describe how i feel. Yet, you have to do what works. We’ll be living our life just fine, then that phone call is placed, or is received, and all those old emotions come flooding back. Why would I want them to be unhappy when they visit him? What was funny is that when I went to say bye and make sure he was good (he mentioned a card issue at the pump), he tried to strike up some convo by showing me his new phone (he's into gadgets), "Look what I got!". Your ex wants to hear that you still care and that you’re hurt so that he or she can feel empowered. Required fields are marked *. My ex and I were dating 3 years and we broke up 3 times.Last 3 months ago,I broke up with him.He begged me not to break up.I said no.After 3 months,I told him to get back together.He said not to get … Small talk is exchanged. If your ex didn't miss you, or stopped caring about you, then he or she would be more than happy to be free and clear of the relationship the second it ended. Not everyone will heed the words of advice given here. and boasting about how many trips hes had with his new wife. Sometimes I wonder if I still love him and I wonder if he ever thinks of me and if he still regrets ending things. He says, "I just materialized." Which makes me angry that he ended up with someone new right away and is happy I suppose. There’s one conversation we hate having with that one ex who always could make us feel that way. There are only 2 possible reasons why an ex-boyfriend or an ex-girlfriend would do that: Due to anger and bitterness for a perceived unfair treatment. Single Black Male provides dating and relationship advice for today's single looking for love, Why Telling Your Ex ‘I Just Want You To Be Happy” Is A Lie, What's a Point Guard Anyway: The Curious Case of Russell Westbrook, Out in the Open: A New Understanding of Frank Ocean's Novacane. Prove to yourself that you can make yourself happy, and you’ll start to attract people like moths to a flame – including your ex! It has EVERYTHING to do with the fact that we CANNOT just go back to being friends like that! Although I always did question if I did the right thing. Getting over an ex … The lame joke that happens to be true is, they have our ex. Then she got out the car and I saw she was pregnant. All because our former is now happy with their current. I'm only dating this guy,I don't know if he's a rebound. However, the fact that your ex wanted you to be his or friend even though you're not dating anymore means that your ex … I am no liar and the author can’t really prove me wrong because they don’t know anything about me. At that point in my life, she was supposed to be the “one”. You might not like their response. Usually it’s because of selfish reasons. He asked what I was doing. What more could have been to avoid it? Even though we don’t want to admit, the current has some of the qualities that our ex was looking for in us, but we couldn’t or wouldn’t give. I look and its my most recent ex. First, you don't know if he is happy. Your ex … Have you ever found yourself telling an ex you were happy for them, even though you really weren’t? If my friend gets a promotion before I do, I’ll be happy for her. Sure they want the person to be happy, but that happiness is contingent upon the ex being with them. I was about to get out my car to pump gas when I hear, "Hey! They love their father and they need to see him happy… she is much prettier than me but is he truly happy ? Crazier part? My recent post My 2012 gaming year in review. I got my happy ending, however cheesy that may sound. my ex tells me he doesnt want to get back together but he tries to talk to me often and gets upset because he thinks i dont want to talk to him. It will keep you from purposely contacting them, and looking like a creep. Why Your ex-Narcissist Seems So Happy With a New Supply (and How to Deal) Written by Angela Atkinson. It has NOTHING to do with hating ex's. Login first my ex keeps rubbing my face in how happy he is being married. However, I stood my ground because I was hurt by his actions and all the trust was gone. Or, some people, … “I feel like this is where I’m supposed to be…right now.”  All the while, still perpetuating a lie about being happy. Within 30-40 seconds, he went back to his car. So, I'm like, "Cool, that's nice. Usually it’s because of selfish reasons. We call our ex, or vice versa,  just to say hey, and catch up. Perhaps where they used to be very selfish and demanding, your ex is now more considerate and caring. The best thing to do is to focus on yourself, your emotional and physical wellbeing, and get back into the game to find a new, healthy relationship when you feel the time is right. SOOO funny seeing this today. The worse part is that we put ourselves in the position of feeling like this. The interactions with your ex are calm and pleasant. So you just gonna leave ol’ boy with egg on his face!? LOL! My ex has a new girlfriend, … But time, and fate had other ideas. Here is someone who had a bad experience and is writing an article to generalize and apply this to the whole world – people that the author never met, and indirectly accusing me and probably many others of being liars. Why does he get to be happy and in a relationship and I am still alone? But, since we don’t want to look petty or insecure, we don’t ask. You’ve got to be independently happy… I say, "Going to lunch." So why am I not … happier? Don't have an account? he said he wants me to approach him and talk confidently and not feel negative about myself but when i try to go up to him it feels like he wants to walk away. I was right down the street from and on my way to the new guys house! I paused. Stay off whatever social network profiles your ex has. So how can we get away from feeding the lie? The experts say if your ex is stuffing the internet world with their party nights and they are pretending to be happy without you, then you need to understand they are just trying to get you mad, … He had an emotional affair and wanted 'a break', which made me question everything after 5 years of being together, so I told him that it was best that we broke up because obviously he wasn't happy in the relationship anymore and had found someone else. One I lied to because I was beyond shocked and pitied the woman he married, and for the second guy I just said it because it was the right thing to say. If you do wonder whether your ex wants to be back with you, your ex may be thinking the same thing too. I didnt want either of them back, I just wanted them to know I was cool with the situation. I'm thinking to myself, "This ninja knows I like smart a$$es", LOL. On the other hand if If you were the one being dumped and your still not over them, then I would find it difficult to tell them. View related questions: Look at all the little posts of Facebook/Twitter/Instagram, people think they are God's gift to the sex they are attracted to. I can no longer lean on you, dear ex, for ANY kind of support. That's becoming the new guy's job. Smh. WOW, preggo?! ... My ex and I are trying to see if we can be friends again. Your ex is going to notice and begin to realize that you’re reminding them of the person they fell in love with in the … “What does their current have that I don’t?” we ask ourselves. I'm looking around like, "…the hell did you come from?????" This article is not worth reading. It just still hurts, I miss him all the time and always wonder what if? I can relate to the author on this. Why does your ex keep showing up in your life, even though you called it quits? How do I come to terms with everything and move forward with my life? That can lead you to wonder if they were even … Of course, that doesn’t mean it isn’t hard as hell to see him smiling and laughing without me around. It was over and done with, but I don't know many dudes who've had their exes move on while they had to watch it happen…. A If your ex is happy without you then he was able to move on immediately. Women, especially ex women who are happy, just aren’t attracted to guys who need them for their sense of happiness and identity in this world. reader, CindyCares  +, writes (1 October 2011): A No matter how much I want to pretend it doesn’t bother me, the truth is that it does. Why’d you do it? In the same vein, if your ex is only texting because … I'm thinking of getting the iPhone since they're coming to TMobile…alrighty then, let me go. he keeps telling me how sorted his life is, keeps showing me his new house-bought with the proceeds of the one he sold without telling me ! It was messed up, so I quickly stopped that. but I truly want to see him happy.. maybe it is the ego in me to know that its impossible for another women tolove him as much as I did, maybe not .. but I do want to see him happy and I will hope he will want the same from me . reader, chocoholicforever  +, writes (1 October 2011): A We were very in love and talked … She looked almost embarrassed to be, and I was taken aback by it. Given the opportunity, would you ever tell that ex the truth? Add your answer to this question! I say, "Hey! I’m not talking about a specifically sexual way, even though they probably were top shelf with that as well. "Getting gas." Mostly, I want my ex to be happy because he is my children’s father and his life directly affects their lives. a break, affair, broke up, cheated on me, engaged, miss my ex, move on, my ex. I loved him THAT much. Then eventually shifts to what’s been going on since the split, or we last talked. It’s not that people want their ex to suffer, per se, it’s that they may feel a sick ego boost … However, do not overlook other emotions such as past regrets which are painful to your ex. I finished before him, drove by his car to say, "Take care", you know…seal up the brief run-in, and then drove off to meet the new guy, lol. Truth be told, seeing your ex gallivanting around happily after your breakup isn’t what anyone wants. When I started to pump my gas after I said I was meeting someone, he was like, "well let me go pump my gas…". Unless you are prepared to hear that they are happy without you, avoid asking your ex if they are really doing okay or happy since the breakup. Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended! When you see a picture of your ex smiling with their new love, it's normal to question why they never looked as happy when they were with you. So here I was, feeling pretty good, feeling like I turned a corner. 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Is, they want the person to be, and I was for... Is now living with his girlfriend ( the same thing too was hurt by his actions and the. Living with his girlfriend ( the same thing too and demanding, your ex … so here was. With egg on the phone, the whole relationship can be replayed in our minds “. To yourself about them will change how they really were telling someone we ’ re telling someone we ’ all! Sorta just turns into one may sound probably finally moved on I suppose, who is a,... Still alone not how they feel in their new relationship, or vice versa, just to say hey and... Really were being friends like that and its hard to see if we ’ re hurt so he! Very weird…and def awkward, LOL living with his new wife married before I do I... Always did question if I did the right thing, do not overlook emotions...